You tell one person and the rest eventually find out. I haven’t exactly been quiet about my upcoming surgery, but I’m also not broadcasting it from the hill tops or on facebook, if you know what I mean. So, my darling nephew (he is 40) ran into an old “friend” from our church and “Greek” social circle the other night and decided to tell her about my surgery! Did I also mention that she is 5’8”, maybe 120 lbs, stunning for her age, used to model, a size 2 or 4 and one of the biggest gossips on the Eastside??? Let’s call her Cinderella for the hell of it. So, I get a call from one of my very close friends "E" yesterday, who I told about the surgery, telling me she got a call from Cinderella, saying…"Did you hear about Linda???...did you know she is having WLS? OMG, What kind, where, why? what hospital etc..." Well, my dear friend "E" had to confirm it but without any details, because if she hadn’t Cinderella would have know she was lying to her.
The only way I could have kept this on the QT is if I only told my husband. But even then, he would have told someone, like his sister, and then the cat would have been out of the bag. I guess I am just wondering what the fall out will be from this in the future. For the most part I am pretty quiet about my private life. I know some of you have only told your husbands or close family members while others have told a handful and others are completely open and honest about their Lap Bands and tell all. In a way, we all are "out" just by writing these blogs and attaching our faces to them. So I was really a bit pissed about this for a little while, texted my nephew a nasty note and then poured myself a glass of my favorite wine from Trader Joes to calm my ass down.
So I start watching the evening news and they are doing a broadcast about the people of Bangladesh who are being forced to move from their villages to the north because of massive flooding. Close to 1 million people will be displaced by the floods and become refugees. These people are so poor, and are mostly farmers and villagers. It was so sad and really put it things back into perspective for me. Like.....Linda, get over it! Who cares what some gossip says about you. It also made me realize how fortunate we are to live in a county where we have choices like the ones we do. To have a choice to have a surgery to aid in weight loss seems so frivolous and unimportant compared to what these people in Bangladesh are doing to just survive. So I am going to count my blessings, keep focused, be thankful for what I have, be compassionate for those who have less and NOT give a damn about what others think. Life is too short..
I'm very open about it. I haven't, to my knowledge, been ridiculed for having weight loss surgery. On the contrary, I think I've helped a lot of people make the important decision about whether or not WLS was the right move for them. And I've been able to help others through their journey. I consider that to be an added bonus and benefit to my journey. I've shared celebrations of successes, listened when things weren't going right, shared recipes and clothes. In return, I've made some fabulous new friends who I might not have met otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI do not care what others think; I'm comfortable in my own skin, and that's what matters. One time, pre lapband, I caught myself wishing I was someone else ... I quickly corrected myself ... that person may be pretty, slender and sexy, but who knows what fate awaits them down the road, what their marriage is like, etc. No, I'll just stick with the cards I've been dealt. So I agree with you, Linda - count your blessings.
I am one of those that has not tried to hide my WLS from anyone. I could care less what others think, it is my decision & that is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're right, be proud that you have made the decision to change your life for the better. The gossip (if there is any) will subside over time. Especially when they see how great you start to look.
As for my Surgery, I felt good enough to work after about 5 days. Unfortunately, I was feeling so good that I over did it putting up my Christmas Decorations & I either pulled the muscles around the port, or at the worst, flipped my port. I won't know for sure until Dec 28th when I go in for my first fill. So don't push yourself.
Like you, I'm not keeping it a secret, but I'm also not broadcasting it. I figure that by telling a few people eventually everyone will find out. I always planned on being honest about how I lost weight if people asked (it hasn't happened yet) because if someone I knew had gotten surgery and told me about it I might have considered it long ago.
ReplyDeleteBut you're right. In the end, who cares what other people think. You made the decision for you and as you said, we are so lucky to be in a position to do it. There are so many people who aren't even able to consider something like WLS.
I went through the same thing. I only told my parents, BFF, one co-worker, and my sister. I find out wks later my sister blabbed to a friend, w ho told a friend, who told a friend...in the small town we're from. I don't even live there anymore but the gossip spread and I was so livid. B/c I was just a few wks post op and she thought I'd be so proud. I was still worried about those people who say "wls is for losers and lazy people" but now I've gotten past that. I have results as proof and it gives me the confidence to share if I feel like it, but mostly only I haven't told any additional people.
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